The drink where you can actually taste the minerals 🗣️🍷

Early fans of Modo di Bere might be shocked by the drink we chose to highlight in today’s newsletter. Here’s a hint: the same country that taught Rose Thomas a dozen jokes about how this liquid is “bad for you” is, ironically, a devoted consumer.

What even is Minerality?

Wine people talk about soil a lot. “Minerality” is a popularly invoked tasting note. Taken together, these two trends lead to the common and entirely reasonable assumption that wines described as “chalky” or “flinty” get those flavors or aromas from dissolved minerals absorbed by the vine’s roots that then make their way into your glass. Unfortunately, that’s not how “minerality” works in wine.

It turns out that the "stony” flavor notes in some wines are just as metaphoric as notes of “white peach”–meaning that wine does not include traces of stones any more than it includes peaches in its ingredient list (which is not at all). Just because the wine tastes like peaches doesn’t mean it has peaches inside. Wine doesn’t include potting soil or pencil shavings either. Just grapes! “Metaphoric” is not to say those flavors aren’t there, but that tasting notes describe what the wine tastes like, not what it tastes of.

It turns out that the flavors we’ve come to describe as “mineral” are no exception. Soil types greatly affect grape vines in ways that determine the final flavor of a wine, but those reasons mostly have to do with drainage, something that isn’t quite as romantic to discuss as our assumption that we can “taste the clay.”

There is a drink that actually derives its character from geologically-dissolved compounds, however, and that drink is mineral water! Yes, after creating an entire collection of jokes in Italian dialects about how water is bad for you (so you should drink wine), starting from the very first episode of the podcast, Modo di Bere is presenting a water guide. Despite all the jokes, of course, Italians drink tons of mineral water.

Read on for this month’s column by Kurmudgeon, a Ridgewood resident with strong opinions on intense water.

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The Boot in 20 is Back! 🇮🇹 👢

🚨 Announcing a new edition of The Boot in 20, a special podcast series where Rose Thomas interviews an expert about each of Italy’s 20 wine regions. For this episode, we’re in the Marche, a region in central Italy known for wines of high quality and value. Our expert for Marche is Ancona native Tiziana Forni.

If you enjoyed the recent interview with mother-daughter winemakers Angela and Marianna Velenosi, here’s a chance to learn even more about the Marche, discussing its history, wine grapes, climate, and things to see when you visit this region that locals describes as a hidden gem.

Listen to the episode
Watch on YouTube

Verdicchio is a white wine grape that has put Marche on the map in recent years as new attention to viticultural and winemaking practices have revealed this grape’s potential to make outstanding and age-worthy wines. Learn why Italian wine specialist Tiziana Forni says that Montepulciano and Sangiovese have found the “perfect marriage” in Marche’s red wines.

There are also more rare and unusual grapes and wines from the Marche, including a drink made from wine and cherries that you can pair with gelato. Aha, so there is fruit besides grapes in some rare wines! As Tiziana says in the episode, “We are Italian. We have exceptions.”

We also talk etymology for the name of this region and its grapes. Tiziana shares the tax-related saying about the Marche that everyone in Italy knows, as well as sayings in the dialect of her hometown.

If you speak Italian, or you want to learn, this and many other episodes of the Modo di Bere podcast are available in Italian.

Do you know which aromatic red wine grape from Marche got Tiziana into wine? Rose Thomas says it makes your burps taste like violets. Hint: it was also mentioned in the Velenosi episode. Reply to this email to share your guess!

Without further ado here is this month’s Kurmudgeon column. The Kurmudgeon covers the New York City beverage scene for this magazine.

Minerality: The Kurmudgeon Guide to “Fancy” Water

by Kurmudgeon

When I was growing up in Wading River, Long Island, no one in my household drank mineral water. My parents’ friends drank the odd, bitter “fancy” water, either San Pellegrino or Perrier, for what I assumed was the purpose of putting on airs. 

Now I live in Ridgewood, Queens, a mineral water mecca thanks to its trove of immigrant-owned groceries. Exposed to “fancy” waters from around the globe, I’ve grown to love the stuff. The romantic idea that waters strongly differ in taste depending on the geology of their underground aquifers appeals to me greatly. From the comfort of my living room, I can taste sleeping volcanoes, or the foundations of stony Caucasian mountains.

America, you should drink more mineral water.

The 'purified' Aquafinas and Dasanis of the world are functionally repackaged tap water. But spring water, and mineral water in particular, is actually very interesting. The taxonomy is fairly arbitrary; all water cycles through a spring at some point, and all drinking water will have some particulate matter in it.

Mineral water, as it's understood in the U.S., generally means spring water with noticeable mineral content, sold more or less the way it came out of the ground, with the exception of some added gas for carbonation. (It can actually come out of the spring carbonated naturally, but most carbonation is artificial.)

I’ll share my favorite mineral water brands below, but first, some advice:

Choose glass bottles over plastic. I have no real idea why this matters, but it does. 

Any time you’re making a drink that calls for fizzy water, like a long drink or a spritz, nice mineral water will taste a thousand times better than plain soda water. 

Always take the health-related claims surrounding mineral water, including the anecdotes in this article, with a big grain of salt (or a gram of bicarbonate, as it were).

After much passionate investigation, here are my favorite mineral waters.

1. Borjomi

A water I love so much I occasionally schlep home entire cases, this Georgian specialty seems broadly popular across the former Soviet Union and neighboring states. By American normie standards, it’s the weirdest, most aggressively mineral water I’ve come across. Its medicinal, slightly fishy aroma is liable to alienate all but the steeliest mineral maniacs. The flavor is crisp, pleasantly bitter, and slightly chalky; the texture is mildly viscous.

Borjomi is the best hangover cure/preventative I’ve ever found, just ahead of light cardio and tripe soup. Due to its high sodium, magnesium, and bicarbonate levels, I consider it nature’s Pedialyte. At any rate, getting your emergency hydration from this bitter bottle will make you feel more like a connoisseur and less like an overgrown baby. 

This assertive water is not just for the treatment of misery. It’s equally good as part of a classy natural wine dinner or used as a chaser for fatback-infused vodka. I’d be remiss not to mention that Chambers, the esteemed Tribeca restaurant helmed in part by Master Sommelier Pascaline Lepeltier, once gave Borjomi a place on their impressive beverage list. Borjomi is not on the menu at Chambers these days, though you still might find it in a cocktail or two, but selling my favorite weird-ass Georgian mineral water was one of the many little touches that helps make Chambers my favorite restaurant in NYC. That and the sweetbreads. 

2. Radenska 

Radenska is another favorite of mine, a Slovenian water that’s a bit less salty and funky than Borjomi while still having a pronounced bitter flavor. I find it’s great for settling an upset stomach due to its bicarbonate content. It pairs well with salty and acidic foods. Reach for it with typical Balkan fare like grilled cevapi, peppers, and brined cheese.

3. Borsec 

A product of Romania, Borsec has a clean, classy kind of bitterness and a tiny bit of acidity. High in calcium and magnesium, I’ve found it to be restorative when I’m sick and trying to keep my fluid intake up. It comes in a non-carbonated version which, for whatever reason, has a much lower mineral content, so make sure you go for the bubbly kind if you want the full experience.

4. Gerolsteiner 

Probably my favorite among the mainstream Western European brands, Gerolsteiner is one of those bottles you can find in upscale groceries or health food stores anywhere in the U.S. I once won a case of it in an Instagram raffle, which made me feel like the only person in America following their U.S. account. It’s reliably delicious and goes well with a meal. I have a hunch it’s good for digestion, too, which is not surprising coming from Germany, the same country that gave us Underberg.

6. Güitig 

Pleasantly chalky and creamy mineral water from Ecuador. It makes me feel like an Andean tuber growing in fertile mountain valley soil. Anecdotally, chugging a bottle of this after a heavy drinking session is very helpful for sobering up quickly.

7. Uludağ 

A Turkish water sold in adorable little green bottles in the Balkan stores and cafes near me. Uludağ has an odd, distinctive note somewhere between popcorn, cardboard, and balsa wood.

8. Topo Chico 

Pretty good! Low-ish mineral content but it tastes good, so I’m not complaining.

9. Peñafiel 

A Mexican brand I tried for the first time recently. Despite the visual branding, which reminds me of toothpaste or soap, the actual flavor is citrusy and quite nice. A great option for cocktails.

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